Friday, June 30, 2006
Lets suppose you grow up in a republican family, being taught the traditional values of republicanism (pre-Falwell-Christian Coalition-neocon crap): smaller, less intrusive government, less government spending, individual responsibility...perfectly respectable philosophies that I happen not to agree with, but they tend to not be overly judgemental "values" of people, except the occasional loud mouth. You trust in your country, you raise your flag on the appropriate days, you vote. You eat three squares, you signal at the light, basically a good neighbor and responsible member of the community. Over the last decade you see a pronounced shift in the ideology of your party. More emphasis on the politics of rhetoric, more chiches and soundbites designed to evoke emotional images of a simpler time..."FAMILY VALUES," yet your party leaders are repeatedly found to not have such scrupulous behavior of their own. Hypocrites like Newt Gingrich, who during the impeachement of President Clinton was banging a lot more than the gavel. As the years go by you see your party slide farther and farther into a highly nationalistic, dogmatic, and despotic snarl...the government becomes infiltrated from top to bottom with snarlies, and you see your country slide economically, politically, and diplomatically farther down than it has ever been. You know that your party is the one in power, you know that your President is the one calling the shots...the stupid, stupid shots. You see the cronyism, you know about the subversion of congress, the signing statements, and when your frustrated wife (ok maybe this is personal) brings them up to you, you nod...yes, yes, it looks very bad, I agree...but yet in the booth, that sacred beautiful voting booth you reach up and pull the RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Your wife, bewildered, stunned, shocked, and weeping, "Dude, what the fuck?"
I just don't get it. Enlighten me.
Canada is busy sending back Bush-dodgers. The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.
The unflinching arrogance of the Bush Administration is prompting the exodus among liberal citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly
Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists, and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry "He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk"
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR.
Liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"
In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said. "We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach out."
I have already warned my mother in law that should we elect another rethuglican (she is one) I will be headed north, over the border, putting my son in a dress, and converting to Quakerism...No one is going to draft my gay canadian quaker son!
Thursday, June 29, 2006
WASHINGTON - Detailed allegations by federal investigators that BP traders illegally manipulated propane prices in 2004 could hurt the oil and gas industry's image at a time when consumers and Congress are upset about soaring energy costs and record profits.
Executives from BP PLC and other major oil companies have testified before Congress and stressed in TV interviews that today's sky-high prices for gasoline and other fuels are the result of market forces beyond their control — not improper behavior on the part of industry.
"Well, that's going to be a tough sell when you have headlines showing that they caught you manipulating the market," said Phil Flynn of Chicago-based Alaron Trading Corp.
Even though a nine-month probe concluded last month by the Federal Trade Commission found no widespread effort by the industry to inflate gasoline prices, Flynn said "everybody is going to use this one incident as proof positive that the big oil companies are manipulating every market. It's going to be guilt by association."
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The U.S. Supreme Court on Thursday strongly limited the power of the Bush administration to conduct military tribunals for suspected terrorists imprisoned at the U.S. Navy base in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
The 5-3 ruling means officials will have to come up with a new policy to prosecute at least 10 so-called "enemy combatants" awaiting trial -- it does not address the government's ability to detain suspects.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
"We're going to do anything it takes to stop the congressional pay raise this year, and we're not going to settle for this year alone," Democratic Leader Harry Reid of Nevada said at a Capitol news conference.
"They can play all the games the want," Reid said derisively of the Republicans who control the chamber. "They can deal with gay marriage, estate tax, flag burning, all these issues and avoid issues like the prices of gasoline, sending your kid to college. But we're going to do everything to stop the congressional pay raise."
Harry Reid may just be the sole reason Conservatives fight so hard to ban cloning.
By a one-vote margin the Senate rejected an Amendment to the Constitution to prohibit the burning of the flag. While I do not like the image of a burning flag personally, the notion that the government can ban us from doing so because it is an expression of anger or vitriol or hate flies in the face of everything I know about our constitution. I will take the flag burning issue a lot more seriously when the Senate bans display of the Confederate flag, the wearing of white or red robes and hoods, the use of the swastika, the shaving of one's head as a display of racial superiority (how exactly DOES that work?)
My good and brilliant friend Scott emailed me in the wee hours about this:
"The American flag stands for the fact that cloth can be very important. It is against the law to let the flag touch the ground or to leave the flag flying when the weather is bad. The flag has to be treated with respect. You can tell just how important this cloth is because when you compare it to people, it gets much better treatment. Nobody cares if a homeless person touches the ground. A homeless person can lie all over the ground all night long without anyone picking him up, folding him neatly and sheltering him from the rain."
"School children have to pledge loyalty to this piece of cloth every morning. No one has to pledge loyalty to justice and equality and human decency. No one has to promise that people will get a fair wage, or enough food to eat, or affordable medicine, or clean water, or air free of harmful chemicals. But we all have to promise to love a rectangle of red, white, and blue cloth.
Betsy Ross would be quite surprised to see how successful her creation has become. But Thomas Jefferson would be disappointed to see how little of the flag's real meaning remains."
So send me your comments about this, and I will post them.
Gee I wonder how long it will be until Surgeon General Richard Carmona is asked to step down from his position. Big Bakky just won't sit still for this one. People gots to have their smokes! Well I find Carmona's independent spirit refreshing, and I wish him the best of luck in the private sector.
Put down the cigs people, you know they are bad for you, you know they are bad for the people around you, and you know that there are countless products on the market to help you quit. I quit five years ago after stupidly smoking since a teenager, and I know it is hard. But it is stupid to know something is terrible for you and the people you love, and to continue to do it.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Rush Limbaugh's detention at a West Palm Beach airport begs the question...why on earth would this man risk his freedom to carry an illegally labeled bottle of Viagara around in his luggage? Was he trying to avoid embarrassment? Brilliant move! Sorry, call me insensitive, but I am going to giggle over this story for some time to come.
Oh, and with his wiener on the fritz Rush is going to have to do his time on the bottom bunk....way to go Rush!