Thursday, July 02, 2009

Woman Gives Birth, Leaves Baby, in Port-A-Potty

I hate to even go into one of these nightmarish, reeking, hellishly blue, upright coffins of doom. I remember twenty years ago at the UNM Fiestas out on Johnson Field, while dancing to this kick ass reggae band a crash and a roar of laughter as some one tipped a port-a-potty, and a guy emerged moments later, blue and puking. I cannot imagine stopping into one, giving birth, and leaving the kid there. I won't even let my kids go in one if I can help it.

Keith Olbermann, here is a candidate for today's Worst Person in the World.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

A Personal Message for Governor Mark Sanford

A few minutes ago I was having a conversation with my husband. He was talking about you. He asked me, "Did you hear about this? Sanford is claiming that this woman is his soulmate, and that this is a tragic love story, but he was going to 'learn to love his wife again'???"
Me..."Um, yeah."
Husband..."Now if I were to have an affair, and you found out, and forced me to break it off..."
Me..."Oh no need to worry, I would break "IT" off for you."
(Scared look. He knows I mean that.)
Husband..."Ok, so then I have to go back to Argentina just to make sure it wasn't a mirage or something and I get caught and I say 'I really love this woman but I will make myself learn to love my wife again' how would THAT go over?"
Me..."Not well my friend, I don't recommend you try it."

Just go away. You don't deserve your job. You don't deserve your wife. I am sure your state would be happy if you just went away. Go to Argentina and get your freak on. That's all.