Stocks: More Market "Correction"

Yes, the blow-dried stock girl on CNN was calling it "market correction."



Remember "The Shining" and the chilling scene where Grady, the former caretaker and troublemaking dead guy says this to Jack?...



"My girls, sir, they didn't care for the Overlook at first. One of them actually stole a pack of matches and tried to burn it down. But I... CORRECTED them, sir. And when my wife tried to prevent me from doing my duty, I CORRECTED her."





Correction. Yep, that sounds about right.

Amy Winehouse "I've Not Quit Rehab"

Last week it was reported that she was hospitalized for exhaustion. Yes, I can see how that happens, shooting up on an empty stomach is really tiring. Amy, you are fantastic, but you need to eat something. Something large.

Apparently, rumors started circulating that she had bailed on treatment after leaving to go get a guitar from her home. She reportedly is headed back...read more here.

Desperate Man Throws Sick Wife Off Balcony

Kansas City, MO...

This is a human being, just like you and me. He is being held in a jail cell for the murder of his wife.

She was gravely ill, and had no insurance. Their assets were dwindling, and her medical care was costing them hundreds per week. Unable to provide her with any further medical care, this by all accounts loving husband gave her a kiss and dropped his 75 lb wife four stories to her death.

Coincidentally, today there will be a free screening of Michael Moore's expose on the health care industry, "Sicko", provided by Heartland Health Care for All, and will include personal appearances by locals in the documentary. If you happen to live in the area, even if you have already seen this brilliant film, go, and drop a few bucks in the hat to help these good people do their good work.

Good God, how far we have gone astray.

Shrubette Engaged

Demure and delicate Jenna Bush, daughter of our beloved (shit I really can't type that with a straight face) Pretzledent, is engaged. Aw!

A nation of horny frat boys weeps.

Oh the joyous anticipation of the honeymoon photos...doubtless there will be countless Kodak moments of her face-down drunk on the beach, doubtless nude.

I wonder if the "Girls Gone Wild" crowd will cover the bachelorette party!

Oh and of course, the children that will come of this beautiful union, bundles of joy all...

Ohhhh the children....

He looks just like his grandpa!

He has his mother's eyes.