PERVERTS AND LIARS AND CROOKS!!! OH MY!!!!

I am an army of one...

Oh yes! They have had their hands in the cookie jar! Oh yes! They have had their hands (well at least one hand) on the keyboard! Oh yes! They have had their secret meetings, their dirty dealings, their hushes, shooshes and cover-ups!
And now it is all on the table. Less than five weeks from the election people have looked behind the curtain and seen just how small, petty and pitiful the Great and Powerful Oz actually is, a weak, shrivelled man taking perverted delight in terrifying the masses with shock and awe techniques, color coded charts of terror, exploding liquids on planes, shoe bombers and anthrax. We know that while Oz was scaring us into submission the flying monkeys refused to stop him, refused to get involved, refused to do anything to harsh the gig of the "Great One".
Ladies and gentlemen, we are in need of new flying monkeys. We get our chance in four and a half weeks. Get out there and pick a new monkey, back the monkey and set it free.

Why this Foley Thang Feels Sooooooooo Good

It may seem a bit mean that this Foley scandal has brought us so much joy. I know I feel a little bit guilty when everytime it is mentiomed I giggle, wave my hands in the air and do a little happy dance...but it just feels so right. So I dance, and celebrate this beautiful, beautiful scandal.

But many may wonder why liberals are over the moon about the revelations about Congressman Foley and its aftermath. For those who are curious, let me shed some light.
First of all, eight years ago we had a marvelous president. He had worked wonders with our economy, we were at peace, people had jobs, things were sure looking up. Kenneth Starr, who had spent a fortune in government dollars trying to pin criminal charges on the President for a failed land deal in vain, instead went after the President for sexual activities. He was impeached, but an effort to remove him from office didn't work.

Following that national disgrace we had to endure years of puffed up republicans, claiming to be the bearers of all that is good, virtuous and holy. Democrats were incapable of leading, because they weren't MORAL enough. Republicans had "family values" and God liked them best.
Anytime there was a hint of impropriety in the ranks of the republicans they would get their loudmouth radio and tv personalities out there beating the Clinton/Monica drum. Democrats never once stood up to them because they are scared little spineless weenies. The democrats just let it slide, for eight years.

Well, after eight years of being shamed into silence and losing every single election since, we have a glimmer of hope. With each passing day this scandal weakens the republicans, not because democrats are tearing them down, but because they are cannibalizing themselves. It is a beautiful thing, because it brings the promise of a return to some balance in government, and perhaps some checks on this hideous Executive.

Perhaps most beautifully, though, it is bringing about the end of this false piety, revealing the dark smelly underbelly of conservatism, and negating years and years of righteous indignation served up by piggy right wingers. Oh you can still hear them try the old talking points, sputtering..."But! But! Bill Clinton did it! It was sex with a subordinate! It's the SAME THING!!!" through their tears, but anyone with a brain knows it isn't, it really isn't even close, and it is perverted just to try to equate the issues.

So I do my happy dance. I embrace the promise of a return to REAL decency, where perhaps we can see a light at the end of the Bush Presidency tunnel, a return to some balance, less slimy rhetoric from the right. These are all great things. It is high time for them.
Dance with me!

Photo of the Year

O'Reilly Labels Foley a Democrat

See anything wrong with this photo? That's right, Faux News, in its none too clever attempt to distance Foley from the mothership labled Mark (Taint) Foley as a DEMOCRAT. The graphic was used three times in two segments on the Bill O'Reilly show. Show your outrage, email O'Reilly, I am sure there is a link on the Faux News page but my eyes are dirty now from trying to find it for you. Tell him that he is a liar, and demand he set the record straight.

In Medical News Today...

Medical tubing manufacturers announced today an upgrade to the Foley Catheter. The new models will include a built in calibration system, to accurately measure penis size.

Manufacturers expect to have the new models available for use in hospitals nationwide November 8th.

New Developments in Masturgate

In breaking news...

TAINT

Taint Foley has entered Pervert Rehab.

In other news it looks like the smell of Taint is spreading throughout the Republican leadership. Already Hastert, Boehner, and Shimkus (these three guys all sound like euphemisms for kinky behavior) are reeking of Taint. Tony Snowjob is spinning out of control to keep Taint off of the White House. CNN is interviewing pages who don't even have first hand knowledge of Taint. Fox News is trying very hard to ignore it.

TAINT

Blood in the Water

Yes, folks, there is blood in the water. Republican blood, which I really thought would be neon green. It is time for democrats to be sharks. Nasty, biting, ruthless sharks. If you are a democrat running for congress (I am talking to you Patsy Madrid!!!!) you better find every photo of your opponent you can with Foley. They are out there, I saw them myself on the national news tonight (ABC). Get them. Use them. Make T-shirts and give them away.

It is time, be ruthless. Be like the shark.

Hume-ongous Blunder

Today on Faux News Sunday, Brit Hume argued, with regard to the Foley scandal, that there is a difference between republicans and democrats in matters such as these. He said that Gerry Sudds didn't lose his position for his improper relationship with a subordinate, that Barney Frank didn't lose his seat for his improper relationship with a subordinate, and that even Bill Clinton didn't lose his job for improper relationships with a subordinate.

Think about that.

Relationship with a subordinate???

Is that what we are calling teenage pages now? Subordinates?

How dare this man equate consensual sex between adults to the sexual stalking of a sixteen year old boy?

Why do republicans keep electing closet homosexuals? I will tell you why. They keep electing fundamentalist Christians, and you don't get much farther back in the closet than that. People who cannot be frank and honest about their natural sexual tendencies and identity tend to manifest this in very dark ways.

So if you are repressing your sexuality, do the world a favor. Go out and meet a nice person your own age, date them, and get laid. Keep your hands and instant messengers off the kids.