Thursday, November 02, 2006

The Great Keith Olbermann

I don't like to just cut and paste other people's thoughts, words, or work. First it is lazy. Second it is someone else's. In this case, the great Keith Olbermann. But these words are worth reading by everyone. So I cut, and paste, with apologies and appreciation to Mr. Olbermann...

On the 22nd of May, 1856, as the deteriorating American political system veered toward the edge of the cliff, U.S. Rep. Preston Brooks of South Carolina shuffled into the Senate of this nation, his leg stiff from an old dueling injury, supported by a cane. And he looked for the familiar figure of the prominent senator from Massachusetts, Charles Sumner.

Brooks found Sumner at his desk, mailing out copies of a speech he had delivered three days earlier - a speech against slavery.

The congressman matter-of-factly raised his walking stick in midair and smashed its metal point across the senator's head.

Congressman Brooks hit his victim repeatedly. Sen. Sumner somehow got to his feet and tried to flee. Brooks chased him and delivered untold blows to Sumner's head. Even though Sumner lay unconscious and bleeding on the Senate floor, Brooks finally stopped beating him only because his cane finally broke.

Others will cite John Brown's attack on the arsenal at Harper's Ferry as the exact point after which the Civil War became inevitable.

In point of fact, it might have been the moment, not when Brooks broke his cane over the prostrate body of Sen. Sumner - but when voters in Brooks' district started sending him new canes.

Tonight, we almost wonder to whom President Bush will send the next new cane.

There is tonight no political division in this country that he and his party will not exploit, nor have not exploited; no anxiety that he and his party will not inflame.

There is no line this president has not crossed - nor will not cross - to keep one political party in power.

He has spread any and every fear among us in a desperate effort to avoid that which he most fears - some check, some balance against what has become not an imperial, but a unilateral presidency.

And now it is evident that it no longer matters to him whether that effort to avoid the judgment of the people is subtle and nuanced or laughably transparent.

Sen. John Kerry called him out Monday.

He did it two years too late.

He had been too cordial - just as Vice President Gore had been too cordial in 2000, just as millions of us have been too cordial ever since.

Sen. Kerry, as you well know, spoke at a college in Southern California. With bitter humor he told the students that he had been in Texas the day before, that President Bush used to live in that state, but that now he lives in the state of denial.

He said the trip had reminded him about the value of education - that "if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you can get stuck in Iraq."

The senator, in essence, called Mr. Bush stupid.

The context was unmistakable: Texas; the state of denial; stuck in Iraq. No interpretation required.

And Mr. Bush and his minions responded by appearing to be too stupid to realize that they had been called stupid.

They demanded Kerry apologize to the troops in Iraq.

And so he now has.

That phrase - "appearing to be too stupid" - is used deliberately, Mr. Bush.

Because there are only three possibilities here.

One, sir, is that you are far more stupid than the worst of your critics have suggested; that you could not follow the construction of a simple sentence; that you could not recognize your own life story when it was deftly summarized; that you could not perceive it was the sad ledger of your presidency that was being recounted.

This, of course, compliments you, Mr. Bush, because even those who do not "make the most of it," who do not "study hard," who do not "do their homework," and who do not "make an effort to be smart" might still just be stupid, but honest.

No, the first option, sir, is, at best, improbable. You are not honest.

The second option is that you and those who work for you deliberately twisted what Sen. Kerry said to fit your political template; that you decided to take advantage of it, to once again pretend that the attacks, solely about your own incompetence, were in fact attacks on the troops or even on the nation itself.

The third possibility is, obviously, the nightmare scenario: that the first two options are in some way conflated.

That it is both politically convenient for you and personally satisfying to you, to confuse yourself with the country for which, sir, you work.

A brief reminder, Mr. Bush: You are not the United States of America.

You are merely a politician whose entire legacy will have been a willingness to make anything political; to have, in this case, refused to acknowledge that the insult wasn't about the troops, and that the insult was not even truly about you either, that the insult, in fact, is you.

So now John Kerry has apologized to the troops; apologized for the Republicans' deliberate distortions.

Thus, the president will now begin the apologies he owes our troops, right?

This president must apologize to the troops for having suggested, six weeks ago, that the chaos in Iraq, the death and the carnage, the slaughtered Iraqi civilians and the dead American service personnel, will, to history, "look like just a comma."

This president must apologize to the troops because the intelligence he claims led us into Iraq proved to be undeniably and irredeemably wrong.

This president must apologize to the troops for having laughed about the failure of that intelligence at a banquet while our troops were in harm's way.

This president must apologize to the troops because the streets of Iraq were not strewn with flowers and its residents did not greet them as liberators.

This president must apologize to the troops because his administration ran out of "plan" after barely two months.

This president must apologize to the troops for getting 2,815 of them killed.

This president must apologize to the troops for getting this country into a war without a clue.

And Mr. Bush owes us an apology for this destructive and omnivorous presidency.

We will not receive them, of course.

This president never apologizes.

Not to the troops.

Not to the people.

Nor will those henchmen who have echoed him.

In calling him a "stuffed suit," Sen. Kerry was wrong about the press secretary.

Mr. Snow's words and conduct, falsely earnest and earnestly false, suggest he is not "stuffed," he is inflated.

And in leaving him out of the equation, Sen. Kerry gave an unwarranted pass to his old friend Sen. John McCain, who should be ashamed of himself tonight.

He rolled over and pretended Kerry had said what he obviously had not.

Only, the symbolic stick he broke over Kerry's head came in a context even more disturbing.

Mr. McCain demanded the apology while electioneering for a Republican congressional candidate in Illinois.

He was speaking of how often he had been to Walter Reed Hospital to see the wounded Iraq veterans, of how "many of them have lost limbs."

He said all this while demanding that the voters of Illinois reject a candidate who is not only a wounded Iraq veteran, but who lost two limbs there, Tammy Duckworth.

Support some of the wounded veterans. But bad-mouth the Democratic one.

And exploit all the veterans and all the still-serving personnel in a cheap and tawdry political trick to try to bury the truth: that John Kerry said the president had been stupid.

And to continue this slander as late as this morning - as biased or gullible or lazy newscasters nodded in sleep-walking assent.

Sen. McCain became a front man in a collective lie to break sticks over the heads of Democrats - one of them his friend, another his fellow veteran, legless, for whom he should weep and applaud or at minimum about whom he should stay quiet.

That was beneath the senator from Arizona.

And it was all because of an imaginary insult to the troops that his party cynically manufactured out of a desperation and a futility as deep as that of Congressman Brooks, when he went hunting for Sen. Sumner.

This is our beloved country now as you have redefined it, Mr. Bush.

Get a tortured Vietnam veteran to attack a decorated Vietnam veteran in defense of military personnel whom that decorated veteran did not insult.

Or, get your henchmen to take advantage of the evil lingering dregs of the fear of miscegenation in Tennessee, in your party's advertisements against Harold Ford.

Or, get the satellites who orbit around you, like Rush Limbaugh, to exploit the illness - and the bipartisanship - of Michael J. Fox. Yes, get someone to make fun of the cripple.

Oh, and sir, don't forget to drag your own wife into it.

"It's always easy," she said of Mr. Fox's commercials - and she used this phrase twice - "to manipulate people's feelings."

Where on earth might the first lady have gotten that idea, Mr. President?

From your endless manipulation of people's feelings about terrorism?

"However they put it," you said Monday of the Democrats, on the subject of Iraq, "their approach comes down to this: The terrorists win, and America loses."

No manipulation of feelings there.

No manipulation of the charlatans of your administration into the only truth-tellers.

No shocked outrage at the Kerry insult that wasn't; no subtle smile as the first lady silently sticks the knife in Michael J. Fox's back; no attempt on the campaign trail to bury the reality that you have already assured that the terrorists are winning.

Winning in Iraq, sir.

Winning in America, sir.

There we have chaos - joint U.S.-Iraqi checkpoints at Sadr City, the base of the radical Shiite militias, and the Americans have been ordered out by the prime minister of Iraq … and our secretary of defense doesn't even know about it!

And here we have deliberate, systematic, institutionalized lying and smearing and terrorizing - a code of deceit that somehow permits a president to say, "If you listen carefully for a Democrat plan for success, they don't have one."

Permits him to say this while his plan in Iraq has amounted to a twisted version of the advice once offered to Lyndon Johnson about his Iraq, called Vietnam.

Instead of "declare victory and get out" we now have "declare victory and stay indefinitely."

And also here - we have institutionalized the terrorizing of the opposition.

True domestic terror:

Critics of your administration in the media receive letters filled with fake anthrax.

Braying newspapers applaud or laugh or reveal details the FBI wished kept quiet, and thus impede or ruin the investigation.

A series of reactionary columnists encourages treason charges against a newspaper that published "national security information" that was openly available on the Internet.

One radio critic receives a letter threatening the revelation of as much personal information about her as can be obtained and expressing the hope that someone will then shoot her with an AK-47 machine gun.

And finally, a critic of an incumbent Republican senator, a critic armed with nothing but words, is attacked by the senator's supporters and thrown to the floor in full view of television cameras as if someone really did want to re-enact the intent - and the rage - of the day Preston Brooks found Sen. Charles Sumner.

Of course, Mr. President, you did none of these things.

You instructed no one to mail the fake anthrax, nor undermine the FBI's case, nor call for the execution of the editors of the New York Times, nor threaten to assassinate Stephanie Miller, nor beat up a man yelling at Sen. George Allen, nor have the first lady knife Michael J. Fox, nor tell John McCain to lie about John Kerry.

No, you did not.

And the genius of the thing is the same as in King Henry's rhetorical question about Archbishop Thomas Becket: "Who will rid me of this meddlesome priest?"

All you have to do sir, is hand out enough new canes.

I'm Keith Olbermann. Good night, and good luck.

"Hands" Coulter Could Face Criminal Charges

An investigation has begun into the voting activities of Ann Coulter, to determine if she knowingly voted in the wrong pricinct. Coulter is refusing to comply with the investigation. It is said she could get 5 years in prison if convicted. It seems a stretch, but who among us wouldn't welcome the silence?
Also, could she be faced with solitary confinement? I would think being forced to be her cellmate could constitute cruel and inhuman punishment. Of course, if we sent her to one of Cheney's secret prisons it might slide under the torture rules.
On second thought, that is just going too hard on Al-Qaeda.

The Macaca Mafia

The George Allen v. Jim Webb celebrity grudgematch has already generated more interest than a Paris Hilton sex tape. This week's highlights...

George Allen has highlighted passages from Jim Webb's fictional novels in an attempt to portray Webb as a moral degenerate. This is silly. It is like assuming Stephen King is a murderer, Anne Rice a vampire, or Lynn Cheney a lesbian.

Webb is responding by reading reviews of his novels at campaign stumps. This is an interesting way of staying on message. Vote for me, critics LOVE my work.

Oh and Allen's staff, responding to a heckler asking, "Why did you spit on your first wife?" politely showed him the door. The poor man must have been quite drunk, because he kept falling down, and these gentlemen had a heck of a time holding him up. I think it must be hard to support a staggering body with a chokehold. Luckily cameras caught the whole thing...

To watch the video click HERE

This is a particularily nasty race, and as we come down to the final few days it will be one to watch closely, because you never know when one of them gets fed up and just sends his goons to take the other out.

My money is on Webb to win the race, but in a fight on Allen, because he has thugs to do the work for him.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

RED HERRING ALERT: Six days to go...

...and we have another controversy. This time the White House is demonizing John Kerry again. Some democrats say this guy is the gift that keeps on giving. Others are rooting him on.

First Kerry, speaking to college students, made a gaffe when he said something to the effect of "stay in school, work hard, get good grades or you end up in Iraq." He has since said he botched a joke, that he was going to say "you end up like Bush and get us into Iraq." Frankly neither version is particularly funny or relevant, after all there is no draft. When Kerry was a young man it was true that if you didn't get good grades and into college you were probably headed for a jungle in Vietnam or a mad dash over the Canadian border. Today, not so much. But granted, an argument could be made that if you get good grades, get scholarships, and get into a good college then the merciless recruiters won't look so tempting when they come to buy your soul for the whopping sum of $20,000. Also, Bush DID go to college, and achieved a level of mediocrity rarely seen in the transcripts of future presidents.

That notwithstanding, Kerry blew a joke. Bush is blowing a war, and I was pleased that Kerry came back swinging, refusing to apologize to the right, making no excuses, and demanding an apology for the troops from Bush and Cheney. John Kerry is no more responsible for the failure of this war than you or I am, that blame rests squarely on the shoulders of this chickenhawkish administration.

What the republicans are trying to do is spin this to their advantage (I know! I was shocked too!) by making it look like WORDS are the reason we are failing in Iraq. They want us to believe that John Kerry, like John Murtha and Max Cleland before him, is a coward and hates America. They want you to forget that John Kerry, like John Murtha and Max Cleland before him, is a war HERO, who served his country voluntarily in a time of war, saw combat and was injured. They want you to forget that this brave man came home and fought again, this time for the truth, to end a war and save American lives. They want you to forget that George Bush, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, Trent Lott, Newt Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh, P.J. O'Rourke, John Ashcroft, Alan Keyes, Clarence Thomas, Antonin Scalia, Pat Buchanan, George Will, Bill Bennett, Dan Quayle, Phil Gramm, Tom Delay, Dick Armey, and Dennis Hastert are just a few of the notable republicans who shirked their patriotic duty to go over to Vietnam and fight the bad fight. They want you to forget that on that list are several people who gleefully got us into this war, they want us to forget that they are unwilling to send their kids to fight it, they want us to forget that OUR kids are the ones going over, and dying, this month 100 of them.

They want you to remember that John Kerry, and by extension all liberals, HATE America, hate our troops, and want to give in to Al Qaeda. They want you to repeat this mantra all the way to the polls. They want to hold onto power, because they have too much at stake to lose.

Don't let them fool you, and don't let them fool anyone you know. It is critical that the democrats win this one, not for the party, but for America.

Monday, October 30, 2006

The Jerk Factor: What To Do When Your Candidate is a Nimrod

A friend of mine came to me recently, in a quandry about how to vote in her congressional race. She is an avowed liberal, just like me, and is desperate to see the house return to the hands of the democrats, but really emphatically dislikes the candidate the party has nominated on many levels. The race is a close one. She has asked me for some advice. Does she vote for this person she feels is terribly unqualified and ruthless? Or does she vote for the republican, who just rubber stamps whatever Bush puts forth? She is really disinclined to skip over that race, and would never miss an election, believe me. I have seen her get out of the hospital earlier than her doctors would have liked just to get to the polls...she is no shirker of civic duty. I could tell she was pretty troubled, and wanted to help her make a choice and feel better about it. I hope this helps!

Sometimes we are faced with a choice in politics that is pretty unsavory either way you go. I think this is a problem more often for republicans than democrats, because I have heard them over the years talk about voting for the lesser of two evils a lot more frequently than democrats, and, let's face some facts here, republicans have less appealing personalities, are more likely to be at the least jerks, and many times outright criminals. It has to be hard to be faced with the choices conservatives face in the voting booth. We on the left have much to be grateful for. Occasionally, however, we find a jerk in our midst. Normally the vetting process prevents them from making it onto a general election ballot, but every now in then one inexplicably comes through and we are forced to make a choice. Here is where I think we can learn a few lessons from our friends on the right.

Republicans have learned that sometimes issues are greater than personalities, and that to further their own agendas they must vote for people that they would much rather not. Just look at the re-election of Bush, whether there was vote tampering or not, Republicans toed the line, despite some pretty pathetic approval ratings, because they believed that the issues were more important than the personality. Republicans nail us time and again on the issues because they know how to push their agenda despite their jerk handicap.

This has to be true for us, too. Truthfully, on the issues, Americans tend to identify more closely with democrats, especially domestic issues. We need to be vigilant, vote the issues and overlook the personality, at least in the general election. It is just too important. So, my friend, vote democrat in this race, and know that there will be another primary election in 18 months.