Monday, October 16, 2006

Smart Words from a Smart Man...

The real menace to American kids

We demonize Mark Foley but ignore the industries medicating children and making them fat, and even open our schools to people trying to kill them -- military recruiters.

By Bill Maher

Oct. 13, 2006 | If you think the worst thing Congress doesn't protect young people from is Mark Foley, wake up and smell the burning planet. The ice caps are cracking, the coral reefs are bleaching, and we're losing two species an hour. The birds have bird flu, the cows have mad cow, and our poisoned groundwater has turned spinach into a side dish of mass destruction. Our schools are shooting galleries, our beaches are cancer wards, and under George W. Bush -- for the first time in 45 years -- our country's infant mortality rate actually went up.

Read the labels on your food. It turns out the healthiest thing you can put in your body is Mark Foley's penis. He was probably the first fruit those pages ever came into contact with that wasn't drenched in pesticide.

But that's America for you -- a red herring culture, always scared of the wrong things. The fact is, there are a lot of creepy middle-aged men out there lusting for your kids. They work for MTV, the pharmaceutical industry, McDonald's, Marlboro and K Street. And recently, there's been a rash of strangers making their way onto school campuses and targeting our children for death. They're called military recruiters.

More young Americans were crippled in Iraq last month than in any month in the past three years. And the scandal is that Mark Foley wants to show them a good time before they go? When will our closeted gay congressmen learn? Our boys aren't for pleasure. They're for cannon fodder. They shouldn't be another notch on your bedpost. They should be a comma in Bush's war. If I hear a zipper, it had better be on a body bag.

Why aren't Democrats and the media hammering away every day about who we're supposed to be fighting for over there and what the plan is. Yes, Mark Foley was wrong to ask teenagers how long their penises were -- but at least someone on Capitol Hill was asking questions. We're the predators. Because we have an entire economy built on asking young people what they want, making the cheapest, sleaziest form of it they'll accept, and selling it to them until they choke on it and die.

You know who's grabbing your kids at too young an age? Merck, Pfizer and GlaxoSmithKline, by convincing you they're depressed, hyperactive or suffering from attention-deficit disorder and so they must all get medicated. The drug dealers hooking your kids aren't in South America, they're in the halls of Congress handing out campaign donations to your congressmen. Mark Foley says he never slept with those kids, and I believe him, because American children are so hopped up on pills I doubt any of them could get it up.

From 1995 to 2002, the number of children prescribed antipsychotic drugs increased by over 400 percent. Either our children are going insane -- which we might look on as a problem -- or, more likely, we have, for profit, created a nation of little junkies. So stop already with the righteous moral indignation about predators -- this whole country is trying to get inside your kid's pants because that's where he keeps the money Daddy gave him to stay out of his hair.

I don't care if Mark Foley had been asking boys to describe their penises because I have some sad news for you: Your kid is so larded out on Cheetos and Yoo-hoo, he can't even see his penis. We live in a country where the ultimate consumer is an obese 16-year-old hooked up at one end to a Big Gulp and at the other to a PlayStation. So many of our kids today are fat drug addicts, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had puppies.

In conclusion, we can pretend that the biggest threat to "our children" is some creep on the Internet, or we can admit it's Mom and Dad. When your son can't find France on a map, or touch his toes with his hands, or understand that the ads on TV are lying -- including the one in which the Marine turns into Lancelot -- then the person fucking him is you.

-- By Bill Maher


  1. Anonymous1:16 PM

    Once again Bill hits the nail on the head! Thanks for posting this one.
    BTW If Foley is what it takes to clean out Congress I'll take it but there are other things to be considered.

  2. I love Bill Maher. He has such insight into the real threats we are facing, and I am grateful for his outspoken style.

  3. WOW so many talking points to debate, where do I start? Let’s start with this one.

    "We demonize Mark Foley but ignore the industries medicating children and making them fat,"

    This one really hit home, not that I'm fat or medicated, hell we know Ole' Rocky Top is not fat or medicated, but Cara when I click on your profile picture I look at those fat chubby cheeks, looks to me like you belong right in the category of eating one two may Big Macs or downing a 16 piece of the Colonels famous Kentucky fried chicken, which one was it the Big Mac's or the Chicken that done it?

    I guess we are all victims, why take responsibility when you can blame someone else, right?

  4. President George W. Bush signed an executive order in July 2002 allowing immigrants with green cards to become citizens as soon as they are sworn in, according to the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services.

    Since then, more than 25,000 immigrant members of the armed services have become U.S. citizens and another 40,000 are eligible to request naturalization, USCIS said in a statement.
    The numbers rose to 4,614 in fiscal 2005 ended September 30, 2005, from 749 in 2001, the agency's figures show.
    Mexican-born Gabriela Begaye, 30, who joined the Army at the age of 25 and became a citizen last week in Fort Bliss, Texas, says she feels proud to wear a military uniform.
    "I would die for this country. I would do it," she said.

    "I would die for this country. I would do it," What Makes someone think like this? Maybe you liberals can tell me you seem to have all of the answers.

    You think just maybe she see's something in this country you refuse to see? You think maybe she loves this country more than you?

    You think maybe she is willing to fight and die for her freedom which you would not, you think maybe that is it, you think maybe you are so blinded by your own hate of this country you would like to see it fall to a foreign power, is that it? personally I think that is what you would like to see.

  5. I hate to respond to OLD rockytop, but today he caught me in a particularily good mood...

    First of all Rocky, speculate on my weight all you want. I might be fat. I might be HUGE. But if I am huge I can lose weight. You are old and stupid, and there is no cure for either. So keep on insulting, I can take it.

    Secondly, I am a patriotic American, and I would cheerfully fight for my country, and die for my country. I would do so without question.

    What I REFUSE to kill or die for is the petty and wrong ambitions of a small man. Iraq was the wrong war. Iraq never attacked us, and our attack on them was illegal and foolish, emboldening our true enemies and alienating our allies. It was folly for a sick, dark man.

    History will remember Bush as the worst president ever. Liberals have already figured it out. As old as you are I highly doubt you will live long enough to see it proved to you.

    In conclusion, bite me you old fart.

  6. Anonymous1:59 PM

    Tell us about your military record rocktop. Or better yet, let's talk about Bush's willingness to serve and die.

  7. Anon let me tell you about my Military experience I joined the militarty June 12th 1963 after basic I went to Fairchild AFB Spokane, WAs and served with the 92nd Combat Defense SQ of the old SAC command 15th Air Force, from there I went to Harmon AFB Stephenvilled, NFLD and served with the 4081St Combat Denfense SQ, rotated back to the states and two years later joined the Army Reserves and served with the 169th Support Group of the 83rd Arcom as the Communications section chief, then moved to Seattle, WA and served briefly with a unit and then transfered to the WA ST National Guard and got out at 30 years old as a SGT First Class, impressive eh?

    If I had of stayed in they probably would have made me SGT Major of the army.

    Cara my family has a real good gene pool and a lot of longetivity, as far as you being a patriotic American that is friggen debatable for the simple fact all you do is attack, attack and never give up any concert proof to back up what you are saying, all it is, is just copy and paste these bull-shit articles from one of your hero's which you liberal change on a daily basis...Now go and have another Big Mac or a bucket of the Colonels famous Kentucky chicken.

  8. Gee Rocky, it sounds like you got out just in time to escape serving in Vietnam. Just like so many right wing nut jobs, you are a chicken hawk, happy to send other peoples' sons and daughters into conflict, but too afraid to put your own ass on the line....

    or was it that they took a look at you, before the "don't ask, don't tell policy" and sized you up in your glittery cowboy attire and figured you were at best a closet case, and at worse going to paint your bunk pink and threw you out? Did you come to a cotillion dressed as Dolly Parton? What was the deal with your short stay military service?

    As for attack attack...I am too busy with my bucket of chicken to reply to that one.

  9. LTS your statement from above goes to show what a dumbass you really are and how little you know about Vietnam.

    A little History lesson for you we occupied Nam under 4 different Presidents,

    The first US Soilder killed in combat in Nam was James T Davis.

    On 22 December 1961, his team was required to go to a new position. On the way, the team was ambushed by the VC. The truck in which they were riding hit a road mine, and the men were thrown from the truck. Davis was still able to function and managed to fire several rounds from his M-1 before being killed. From an investigation of the ambush area and an interview with a survivor, it was obvious that Specialist Davis died defending his comrads-in-arms. He was the first Army Security Agency soldier to be killed in the Vietnam War.

    President Johnson later termed Davis "The first Amercian to fall in defense of our freedom in Vietnam."

    I know you only equate Vietnam to President Nixon, if I did not get discharged from the Air force until Dec. 1966 and then from the Army Reserves until 1978 seems like I did not escape anything, and I would say over 10 years of military service is more than a short stay..

    Now go back to your bucket of chicken or Big Mac and enjoy the evening.

  10. BOSTON - Former Rep. Gerry Studds, who became the first openly gay member of Congress when his homosexuality was exposed during a teenage page sex scandal, died early Saturday. He was 69.

    You guys demonize Foley, and all I heard from the Liberals in congress was praising this guys, Bret Hume was correct when he said the Liberals had a double standard.

    In other words what is good for the Goose is not good for the Gander.

    How come Bill Maher did not mention this guys and him being a pedofile like the liberals want to protray Foley...go figue...mental instability and all I can think of...have another Chicken wing