Fox News ED Hill is Certifiably Insane

According to Fox News's ED Hill (R-Blonde) the knuckle bonk (gimme some love) is a terrorist move. Rachael Maddow says that we should mock these freaks for making shameful allegations, and I agree. I find it hard to imagine that anyone with any sense would see terrorist intent in the affectionate knuckle bonk Michelle Obama gave to Barack Obama, or see anything but love and pride in their interaction. However, we are not talking about people with sense, we are talking about people who are willing to use any smear tactic to define Barack Obama as a Islamofascistic Liberation Theology Black Panther Terrorist. Well, to them I say that anyone with an IQ over 60 knows that this is garbage, and that the only threat Barack Obama poses is to the status quo corporate interests of this country, and to the citizens he offers hope for a better future.

Bonk for Barack!

Horizontal Blogging

I can't decide if I would rather sit up and blog or take a nap, so I am compromising with some horizontal blogging, laying on the sofa with a pillow propping up the laptop.

What's new with you?

It's summer. It's hot. The kids are home. I want a nap!!!

So a couple of weeks ago my 10 year old and I were hanging out and watching "The Daily Show" and we were bombarded by a few dozen Enzyte ads, you know the ones, Smilin Bob and his sack full of pride. Well Amanda asked me, "Mom, what is male enhancement? Does it make them smarter? Handsomer?"

Ugh.

I wasn't ready for this line of questioning.

So I told her the truth, and she giggled and said, "Gross."

Well I decided it was time to fill her in on the mysteries of life, and so I made a date with her. I took her shopping for an "Ugly Doll" and then to dinner, to talk. She sat across the table from me, clutching her purple blob doll to her chest and glaring at me, while I tried to engage her in conversation. Finally she spoke, and said, "Mom...can't we just talk about animals?"

That was pretty much the end of it.

So, there have been some fun local political events here lately. Last Saturday was the Democratic Party of Bernalillo County's picnic. Candidates were there flipping burgers and serving hot dogs. A couple of judges played live music, and they were pretty good. One was actually named Charlie Daniels, but he didn't sing about ay-rabs. It was a beautiful afternoon, with kids and dogs and lots of happy little liberals.

Last night Tom Udall had his headquarters grand opening. It was a good event. Again there were burgers and dogs, and good political speeches.

More after naptime.

Houston, We Have a Problem...

The potty is broken on the space station. I can imagine the panic.

Religious Loons Kill 11 Year Old Daughter

I can't imagine letting my little girl get progressively sicker, paler, weaker and just saying, "Oh, if we pray she will get better."

I can't imagine seeing my beloved daughter suffering from untreated diabetes and saying, "She is sick because she is a sinner."

But proof that these people are just fucking lunatics who need to be locked away for the good of society comes in this quote..

"Madeline Neumann died March 23 — Easter Sunday — at her family’s rural Weston home. Her parents were told the body would be taken to Madison for an autopsy the next day.
“They responded, ’You won’t need to do that. She will be alive by then,”’ the medical examiner wrote in a report."

Apparently prayer can bring your children back from the dead, too.

Happy Fifth Anniversary!

Can you believe it has already been five years since we rendered terrorism obsolete?

If you don't believe it, here is a picture of our fearless leader on that fateful day...

Georgie Walnuts here is proof. Five years of peace and prosperity...

Thanks Georgie!

UPDATE!!!

WASHINGTON — President Bush sent lawmakers a $70 billion request Friday to fund U.S. operations in Iraq and Afghanistan into next spring, which would give the next president breathing room to make his or her own war policy.

Yep, I went to the belly of the beast, Faux News, for that link. I like to keep it fresh. To summarize, Bush is requesting $70 Billion more to fund the war we won five years ago...everyone likes to celebrate an anniversary!!!!

He Said...She Said

Condi says she told Jimmy, "Don't talk to Hamas."

Jimmy says that while Condi is an honest person she may inadvertently be full of shit.

For more...click.

Meet the New Boss...Same as the Old Boss

At the risk of opening up a Costello situation, who said, "we won't be fooled again?"

The latest chapter in the continuing saga of the "War on Terra" (for you tv junkies, we are now in season 6) General David Petraeus to head up "CentCom". No, not cent.com...it isn't a website. To sum up, nothing happened today.

Guthfeld

This weekend I was chilling out, maxing and relaxing if you will, and decided to watch "Alice's Restaurant," an old film favorite of mine. And as I was watching I found myself staring at Arlo Guthrie, thinking..."Ok, I have seen this before, but who does Arlo look exactly like?" I have really state dependent memory, if I run into someone I have met before out of context from where I know them I am horrible at placing them. I think I would have problems with my own husband if I ran into him somewhere I don't usually. But this face...

was driving me crazy, for the first hour at least. Then it hit me. He looks just like Jerry Seinfeld!

Ok, if you still don't believe me, check THIS out!

Spooooooky.

My friend Ken just sent this to me, and it is awesome. Awesome I tells ya.

LTS's Bold, Visionary Economic Stimulus Plan

Ok, maybe I am getting a little ahead of myself here, but I do have a plan that I believe would do more for our economy than the "Economic Stimulus Package" presented by Bush. While I am someone who will benefit more than a lot of others because of the size of my family, and I do plan to spend this money on some things I have wanted and waited for, like some good lawn furniture, I don't believe this stimulus package will have much of an effect on the economy as a whole.

However there is one small thing that our government can do that would relieve considerable financial stress on all sectors of our economy, from the private individual to corporate America. Our government needs to rein in the cost of fuel, from heating oil to the gas we put in our cars.

Controlling the cost of fuel would have a huge impact on our general economy. Food prices would come down because the cost of transportation of these goods would decline. People would have extra money to spend on goods and services, and vacations would become feasible again.

Of course, this is not a simple solution, because the current administration is so soaked in oil futures and indebted to the robber barons that they will never, ever consider this step. The next administration will have to take this on. I don't believe a Clinton Administration would do it, so Go Barack!!!

Revelation Number Nine

The revelation yesterday that Governor Eliot Spitzer, who rose to power on a record of integrity and ethics, was using the services of $3100 an hour hookers (where did I go wrong on my career path???) has scandalized New York, and stunned the nation.

LTS has come to expect this sort of behavior from republicans, though to his credit Spitzer was not trolling for strange in the Port Authority Men's Rooms. Still, the hypocrisy is just the tip of the iceberg in this developing story. Potential money laundering charges, and investigations into whether public funds were channelled to pay for these escapades, are still pending.

Stay tuned, looks like the Gov is going down. Again.

I'm Back!

Yes, friends, I am back. I had planned to return last week, but sick husband and kids, and my own sinus infection, set me back. I am back, and I am ready to roll. Keep reading!

LTS is on Hiatus

My dear friends and readers…

As you know I have been a strong supporter and blogger for Governor Bill Richardson for a very long time. I believe with everything that I am that Bill Richardson is by far the best candidate for president that our country has seen in years.

I have been offered the opportunity to take my support to the next level and help Governor Richardson in a more substantial way, coordinating volunteers for the campaign. This is a really exciting opportunity, and I am proud to answer the call. So, for now, I feel an ethical obligation to refrain from blogging altogether. I will be back when the campaign is over. Until then, you can email me at cvalentecompton@richardsonforpresident.com to volunteer!

Cara
aka Liberaltruthsayer

Conservative Christian Rubber Lover Dead at 41

The latest chapter in the continuing saga of Christian Conservative Super Freaks may be the most amusing yet. Unfortunately for Rev. Gary Aldridge his happy ending culminated in a tragic one. Just as Larry Craig and Ted Haggard, Aldridge will "go down in history," but won't get a "crack" at rehab to redeem himself.

Rev. Gary Aldridge was found dead in his home Sunday after failing to show up for church services. He was hogtied and wearing two full wet suits, with flippers, mask, and at the risk of being indelicate, well, just click here for further details...

Word to the wise, if you are a hellfire and damnation right wing christian, yet like to get a whole lot freaky in the boudoir, make sure you have a trustworthy companion with you (so much more fun with two than one) who can hear your muffled cries as you try to utter your safety word...

Some fun safety words for superfreaky religious nuts...

Praise Jesus!

Hallelujia!

Swaggart

Leviticus

Ann Coulter

And, kids, don't forget the buddy system!

The Most Hideous Under-reported Story of the Week

Few people have ever heard of Carlos Arredondo. I came across a little blurb on Daily Kos earlier this week, and it was a pretty ignored diary, but then Wonkette paid it a little attention, with a link to Crooks and Liars. After following the story around I became pretty enraged. In fact, it really depressed me.


Carlos is a dad in mourning. His brave young son, Lance Cpl. Alexander Arredondo, gave his life in Iraq, and Carlos went to DC to protest the war. He had a memorial to his son with him, and this enraged a bunch of fat Nazi assholes who call themselves "Gathering of Eagles." They knocked Arredondo down, kicked him repeatedly, and tore up photos of his son. The Gathering of Eagles calls themselves patriots, but what they really are is a band of neanderthal bullies who have no understanding of what patriotism really means.

I know these photos are already on the web but I think it is important to put them out there again and again, so here goes...

The Bitch is Back

Ok, I have been a slacker of late. I admit it. My heart just hasn't been in it...



Oh I know, we have had some great stuff to work with, we liberal bloggers. And I admit, I have spent a fair amount of time giggling about (ok really just laughing hysterically for long, protracted periods of time until my sides hurt) Larry Craig, and thought about writing. After all, how rich does the bounty have to be for me to jump in and wallow in it. How is that for a mixed metaphor?

Ewww...put the little dog down, Senator.



And OJ! Heaping gifts upon gifts. Where was I? I wasn't blogging! I was sitting on the sidelines though, waiting for the white Bronco low speed chase to resume.


He just can't help himself.

So how could I have squandered this precious time, and all the riches that the universe could bestow on me? I have no excuse. I was just lazy. But I am back. Now, all I ask is that the universe keep spitting out these tasty nuggets; the skeevy republican closet jobs, the Britney Spears drunken sprawls, the really juicy chunks of Bush speak.

Such a pretty girl.

And I think I can rest easily, because we all know that Bush speak, perverted prudes and celebrity skanks are flowing like water these days!

Stocks: More Market "Correction"

Yes, the blow-dried stock girl on CNN was calling it "market correction."



Remember "The Shining" and the chilling scene where Grady, the former caretaker and troublemaking dead guy says this to Jack?...



"My girls, sir, they didn't care for the Overlook at first. One of them actually stole a pack of matches and tried to burn it down. But I... CORRECTED them, sir. And when my wife tried to prevent me from doing my duty, I CORRECTED her."





Correction. Yep, that sounds about right.

Amy Winehouse "I've Not Quit Rehab"

Last week it was reported that she was hospitalized for exhaustion. Yes, I can see how that happens, shooting up on an empty stomach is really tiring. Amy, you are fantastic, but you need to eat something. Something large.

Apparently, rumors started circulating that she had bailed on treatment after leaving to go get a guitar from her home. She reportedly is headed back...read more here.

Desperate Man Throws Sick Wife Off Balcony

Kansas City, MO...

This is a human being, just like you and me. He is being held in a jail cell for the murder of his wife.

She was gravely ill, and had no insurance. Their assets were dwindling, and her medical care was costing them hundreds per week. Unable to provide her with any further medical care, this by all accounts loving husband gave her a kiss and dropped his 75 lb wife four stories to her death.

Coincidentally, today there will be a free screening of Michael Moore's expose on the health care industry, "Sicko", provided by Heartland Health Care for All, and will include personal appearances by locals in the documentary. If you happen to live in the area, even if you have already seen this brilliant film, go, and drop a few bucks in the hat to help these good people do their good work.

Good God, how far we have gone astray.

Shrubette Engaged

Demure and delicate Jenna Bush, daughter of our beloved (shit I really can't type that with a straight face) Pretzledent, is engaged. Aw!

A nation of horny frat boys weeps.

Oh the joyous anticipation of the honeymoon photos...doubtless there will be countless Kodak moments of her face-down drunk on the beach, doubtless nude.

I wonder if the "Girls Gone Wild" crowd will cover the bachelorette party!

Oh and of course, the children that will come of this beautiful union, bundles of joy all...

Ohhhh the children....

He looks just like his grandpa!

He has his mother's eyes.